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Deluxe Edition

by Churchkey

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1.
Gator 01:45
seems like the birds lost their song. seems desperation’s in the air. i walked the streets that once belonged to us, but you weren’t there. i hope the planets collide, i hope we all fucking die. i watched the whale crash into water, with witch ends in mind. she cut her hair to her shoulders. swears that it makes her feel older. but the crowd in this room don’t know a thing about you or the way i watched you dance from the door frame. and there is something empty here. something loved and left to rot. a better way to say ,”i miss you” a better way to say “I’m not searching for something i lost” i just remember you sang “something in the water’s making all of us stay in” i understand what I’m not, i understand what it means when you tell me.
2.
Geeman 02:21
scratch it out. make it quick. make sure no ones looking. in the car, held your hand. it was just a second. they came back, we let go and we kept on driving to the show. you looked great and you always do. ever since you’ve had me guessing numbers on your forehead, i can’t breath. ever since you had me holding all the hands you have I can’t speak. at least its just a three minute walk to your house where i can go and get more lost. in your eyes, in your hair and in our thoughts. i can go and get more lost.
3.
Bonus Track 02:25
smoked out in the basement. what I would give to know that you’d make it home safely. shook up and i’m wasted. and I can see your tongue poking through your teeth when you laugh about it. i am burning up fields to block you out. holding my breath until you tell me, “baby boy, you’re nothing but that’s something I like. I watch you writhe for a while before I toss you aside.” I wish that I could relate or seek out something stronger than a quiet escape. I tried. but the trees are on fire and i’m not going back. I’ll be fine.
4.
so if i asked you where it is that you’ve been hiding, could you tell me without lying? would you tell me where you stay? and I could waste your time with a lengthy goodbye but i know it would be made up things that i swore i’d never say. the cold is clinging to my clothes as i ride fast past your old home. i’ve been begging time to slow down and digging into this ground in hopes that this would hold. i am learning how to let go. i’m learning how to be alone. maybe in time i will mean it when i tell you i’m fine, when you ask me, “are you okay?" cause i’ve been spitting at your reflection for days and hanging on to everything you say. i’ve been wasting away making graves with our names in the clay. are you okay?
5.
Child Star 01:46
Be a farm to me, swallow all the ashes, change your mind again. Make the face that you made when I said I can't change it, I really don't think it's right to stop laughing at his open casket, his family's here, his family's leaving, I won't look, I'll never look, i cant look. When I wake up early, I crawl out of the basement. And when/then you crawl up with me, I like when you're around. Quit running for your life, I'll never catch up, I'm glad I met ya, I'll never catch you. Get running for your life, I'll probably fuck up.
6.
Tust 02:28
got high in the bathroom. i loosened up my grip. you were talking shit. fell asleep on the floor of a house I always sort of hoped would burn down with me inside it. its half past you coming in to help. I swore I had to spell this out once. damn I feel good tonight. take me on a long drive, I don’t wanna be here when I die. take me on the short walk, I don’t really hear you when you talk. that’s no solution. it’s spoken soft in hopes that what you’re doing isn’t nothing. whats the situation? tally what you have. tell me what you can. im watching the way im gonna watch you sweat this out. can you tell he’s faking. fuck his shaky hands. tell him that I can.
7.
i found you on the fourth floor. i left you in the backyard crying while your friends watched you drink all night. you don’t wanna laugh til the moments passed man. you don’t wanna stop til you see the light, take another chance on fleeting romance and grinding down the wisdom in your bite. hey when do you get off, i’m coming over later. i’m calling you back home. i saw your body in a dot com dress code, refreshed to impress; reflect all the ways that my legs are miles behind my mouth. but honestly i dont think that i care. your gonna do what you want and it doesn’t matter what i say anyway. ill just sit here ignoring sickness, slipping further into thickness, sleeping through the nights that i once called my own. everybody come around were hanging out, shaking off the cold iced over from winter taking way too long, its so good to see you smile like you used to when i knew you.
8.
Fled 04:18
bite down a cracking bottom lip and my clothes think you’re the shit. But i know better, you’re pathetic, burn a cigarette and flick into a pile on the floor. slam the door and make an exit. now youre laughing and i know you'll walk back in any second because you never really leave. why would you ever leave me? it’s not a question of the lessons you learn from second guessing every word you’ve ever mentioned to forget that you fled, and what you meant when you said, "hey this is fucked i think I’m leaving." id apologize but i’m pretty sure you wont believe me. you never really leave, why would you ever leave me?
9.
Fuckers 02:14
i would pick up smoking just to follow you outside. just to watch your words slip through the purple lipstick that you hide behind, but you look like your having fun and who am i to fuck that up. i will keep staring straight ahead-away-while you’re looking around. you look kind, the kind of eyes that take the time to tangle knots into the notches of my spine, and i don’t mind, i’ve stayed in bed for long enough it just feels fucked to go outside. i don’t like anyone. ask anyone, but i like you. i was standing by your side, making up all of my lines. steady handed watching you die and i did nothing.
10.
somewhere in the midst of a quick fix, irrelevant trick tips, I landed in this. sharp taste. fake acid on the boulevard. are you still drowning in the sink left on? you’ve got me feeling like a dick, when I go missing. still soaked. lost my part in the plan.
11.
Scouts 01:56
we burnt out summer in the sun killing car batteries and getting nothing done, letting the smoke fill all the holes in our lungs. why don't you hang around I'm getting better at piecing together this mess but I don't feel any different yet. i took the long way home just to look for you. we should’ve been hanging out. $200 dollars down the drain for all the things we can live without. you could call it the backdoor you could say i’m looking for it, and breaking the space you got as a gift for laughs in a kitchen that i’ve never seen before. you could call it my body but no one lives there anymore. but you’re not making sense anymore. you’re waking up in bed with your clothes on. you’re telling all your friends that you’re bored and wasting all your days poring over mistakes that you made in the past year, convincing yourself to replace what you had here. you don’t fucking owe me a thing. i swear that I’ve stopped listening.

about

love each other

credits

released June 25, 2016

recorded and mixed by Adrian Kobziar
mastered by Carl Saff
artwork by Nate Dell

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Churchkey Chicago, Illinois

2013 - 2016

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